Tow-tally sucks

There are lots of places I have never been. Some, that I wish I could go to, like Italy or The Russian Tea Room... And some, that I have no desire to ever go to and am fully glad I’ve never experienced up until this point. I’d lump the impound lot into that second bucket. The only person who would find the impound lot hilarious, is someone whose car wasn’t towed... Which luckily happened to be me in this specific situation. If my car was towed, I would FREAK OUT. I’d most certainly get that heartburn like feeling of sheer panic, followed by the overwhelming urge to sob, and instead of problem solving my way out of the predicament like a smart adult, I’d be a total disaster. However, I am also a girl. When we pulled up to the street and found my friend’s car to be no longer where he had left it, his reaction was simply to curse for a minute and then ask the cabbie to take us to wherever they tow the cars to.

Wherever they tow the cars to happens to be the impound lot on 39th street and the West Side Highway. This place is quite a sight. A line of despondent/irate/depressed people forms behind window 1, calling their parents/spouses/friends while they’re waiting and relaying their down and out situation for all to hear. Obviously the NYPD doesn’t take much care furnishing a place like this. It’s complete bare bones of cinder block walls and tile floors which serve almost perfectly to project and echo your misery to everyone present. Then to add insult to humiliation, you have to cough up $185 to get your car back, because the city couldn’t hire writers who could clearly explain on a sign what exactly the parking rules were. WTF is No Standing? Is sitting allowed? What about hopping? Why can’t you just say No Parking? That seems much more direct to me. Otherwise the sign might as well be in another language. Aren’t there other ways for the city to generate revenue besides blatantly and purposefully confusing people, then forcing them to go to the pound? Every time my friend called someone and said he was at “the pound” I got confused. Trust me, there was not a thing there that I wanted to adopt...