Isle of Fire

Selected Fire Island memories (the ones that are appropriate for sharing ;-)

The power of the $1.50 candy necklace.
Who knew that a row of sugar worn around one’s neck made them so much more attractive. It was like I was a totally new person that all the D-bags in my house had never seen before. In fact, one of them even told me his sad story about almost getting kicked out of the house like I hadn’t been there for all of the other 4 weekends. Like he’d NEVER seen me before. Amazing.

6-slice
My friend Mara will apparently talk to anyone. While on line for pizza one night, the guy in front of us ordered 6 slices for himself, then sat outside the pizza place with the box open and ate them. Mara thought he was cute, which is fine, but he was also probably 45. The next morning I saw him wandering around in the same outfit he had on the night before. Then a couple hours later, I saw him again at the Sub Shop. Both times he still had the salt and pepper hair that drunken Mara claimed had been blonde. Not quite.

Buck me
The deer in Fire Island have no fear. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d eat you if they could. It is also extremely dark on the island. Basically pitch black at night. So on my walk home from the bar one night, I was having a conversation with my friend Parisa, who was on my right, and turned to my left mid-convo and about 2 feet from me was the most GINORMOUS deer ever with huge antlers. I screamed, grabbed Parisa and bolted. I still have nightmares about it. Honestly it was like a moose.

Table surfing
The guy who runs my house is hilarious. You rarely see him during the daytime hours, but at night he’s everywhere. He’s like a vampire. A crazy, drunken, hilarious vampire. One night he decided to do belly flops onto the beer pong table. He literally would get a running start and throw himself chest first onto the table. Thump. Thump. The best part of the whole thing was that after the first time, in which I was shocked he didn’t break either 6 ribs or the table, he continued to do it. I think he did this 4 or 5 times, while we all stood there and cheered him on like the enablers we are.

Grill master
Every weekend we bbq'd. Of course I never cooked because who in their right mind would let me near an open flame. My friend Meredith took the reigns one evening and while we were inside eating, flames began shooting out of the grill. Our house manager Ian kept asking if there was a fire extinguisher in the house, but none of us seemed in any hurry to find one which looking back is odd since all of the houses on Fire Island are made of wood. That sucker would have gone up in about a second. Somebody call 911, Meredith is fire burnin down the house... oooh ooh oh.

It was a crazy game of flip cup
The people in my house do not take their flip cup lightly. Basically flip cup is an Olympic sport out there. 2 problems with that. One I couldn't remember the last time I had played, and two, I don't really like beer at all let alone at an accelerated drinking pace. My first game I was labeled a "one-handed flipper" because apparently my technique wasn't acceptable. Since then however, I have become quite the expert. Except for the one time I drank so much that I kept turning to my friend Kim telling her I was seriously going to throw up if they made me go first again and I really needed to leave the game. But you can't leave the game... that's how intense it is. I would have been publicly ridiculed and burned at the stake. So I stayed until I literally had to go upstairs, lay on my bed in the fetal position and moan for 10 minutes in order to be able to make it out to the bars.

Ahh summer, where have you gone...
(per Mara: Names are not being changed because no one is innocent...)