As I was pacing around in the dark tonight dreaming of being free and waiting for HER to bother coming home to feed me, the greatest thing in the entire world happened. HE arrived instead, without her. The door opened, I stuck my face right there and almost got crushed by the opening door as usual, and like out of a dream, I looked up and there he was boasting "HI BUDDY!" DAD! Is it really you? Where’s the wicked witch of the west side? Did you finally pour water on her? Oh Dad! What should we do? Well first let’s eat. Please be sure to give me a man’s portion... A manly man’s portion. Not those girly ass portions she always gives me that I devour in one bite. I want to seriously eat until I feel sick, then for you to rub my fat belly like a buddha.
What else is on our MANgenda? I would very much like to misbehave. And I think you would condone and/or encourage that. Can I do some catnip? Drive a car? What’s this you are offering me, alcohol!? Did you just say we could call some “alley cats” to come over and party with us!? You are the cat’s meow! Bros over hos! Scooters over hooters. Bail over tail. Kitties over titties. Pussies over... Wait nevermind.
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