Come on, Let’s go Tank…

I was worried that the ride home wouldn’t be as exciting as the ride down. We weren’t planning on stopping as much and the drive could definitely get long. If by long, you mean 19 hours. However this time we were riding in tandem with Jay… well until he gets sick of us and decides to lose us on 95. The probability of that being unfortunately quite high, even though we weren’t even all in the same car. We left at 6am, grabbed coffee, gas, and were on our way. About an hour and a half into the ride Meredith had to pee. Jay is not going to like this. So she calls him and says in the sweetest and most innocent voice, “Jay, do you have to pee yet?” Strike one. About 400 miles later, we passed an outlet shopping center that had Gucci and Coach, so again we phoned Jay. “Jay… do you need a Gucci bag? Strike two. Starting to doubt that he thinks we’re cute. 10 hours of driving, avoiding one truck that tried to kill me, and one fuckface in a white van who slammed on his breaks in the left lane and almost killed all of us, and I’ve earned my stripes as a fledgling truck driver. I’m applying as soon as I get home. All I can say is that at least I didn’t make a resolution to not cut anybody off… because I broke that one many, many times…

We made it as far as North Carolina before we decided to stop for some grub and we got our wish. We dined at The Four Oaks Grill in Four Oaks, NC. Imagine the most Podunk roadside diner that you can think of, and that’s where we were. I can’t fathom what these small town folk were thinking when we walked in. Actually I can. It’d be something like if I was at Bloomingdales and aliens got off a spaceship and started shopping. My meal consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich and “freedom” fries. Everything was delicious and $3.75… total. If I lived there, I’d be freakin rich! Meredith and I did our usual act like you’re 5 and laugh until you cry for the complete sake of being immature as Jay begged “please don’t get us kicked out of here, I’m starving” I composed myself while I ate, until I heard our waitress, who was standing at another table, call out “are those guys ganging up on you, pa?” Pa? Oh my god, I’m in little house on the praire…