I got spills, they're multiplyin...

About a month ago I attended the Bris of my best friend’s new baby boy. When I arrived I was so excited to see him that I didn’t bother taking off my coat and placing it in her room, instead I just marched upstairs and left my coat on the floor of the babies room next to my bag. A couple minutes later another friend of ours entered the room with her baby, who promptly spit up all over the floor… and my coat. I never blogged about this story because admittedly at the time I was super annoyed, but in hindsight it really was not a big deal. It could have been worse… he could have spit up into my $800 Louis Vuitton bag sitting just inches from my jacket.

I bring this up now however, because the other night at my friend Melissa’s birthday dinner at Tony DiNapoli’s I got spilled on again. Why am I some kind of magnet for this? Maybe I should carry around a roll of freaking Bounty with me everywhere I go. We were sitting at our table watching in awe as the busboys constructed these towering circus displays of cups and plates. It was amazing how quickly and with such ease they built their precarious structures and went on their way. Amazing, until at the table behind us, as the appetizer plates were being bussed and towers built, a huge wad of tomato sauce flew off the plate and onto my back. Are you kidding me?? Usually when you go to a restaurant you needn’t be concerned that while they’re clearing someone else’s table, you’ll end up as collateral damage and get hit with projectile tomato sauce. I mean really, these plate towers are quite impressive and efficient, but if that means I have to wear food… I seriously would recommend you lose the towers and make ANOTHER FUCKING TRIP to get the rest of the plates. Basically for the rest of the night, every time I saw them clearing a table within 10 feet of me, I wore my napkin on my back… like a cape. Next time I go there, I’m fully going to sport the full body saran wrap outfit I designed for my next run-in with Courtney’s baby...