The Daily Bailey

I bet you’re all wondering how I craft this literary genius that I post, being that I lack opposable thumbs and all. Yes it’s true, my paws are a bit large and awkward for accurate typing. Instead, I use my nails... Since they’re usually nice and long being that I squirm, rip my paws back from her clutches, and cry every time SHE tries to cut them. Basically I like my nails to be like the checkout girl’s at Pathmark... But without the airbrushing. That’s why I dread when I see her pull out that little clipper and try to lure me with the promise of special treats. Don’t get me wrong, the treats are pretty tasty, but still get your freaking hands off my paws. I guess I shouldn’t really complain though, because... Wait for it... I am no longer a foster kitty. I am adopted! ME-OW! I suppose most humans don’t exactly scream that from the rooftops in celebration... Well except for little orphan Annie. And she got to live with a rich guy, which coincidentally enough, is my goal for myself and my human as well...

I have this chick wrapped around my little white fluffy paw. I can basically do whatever I want because now she’s stuck with me. Not like I didn’t do whatever I wanted to before. She even bought me a “you’re adopted” gift. Which I promptly lost like I do with all of my other toys (see me above pictured with one of said lost toys), after I feigned excitement (ok maybe I was a little excited) because the toy had a bell in it. She thinks I love it because I chase it around the entire apartment, when I’m really trying to lose it so I can sit back and laugh as she gets down on the ground and searches for it under the bed, under the chair, under the furniture, under the oven, in the bathroom... Because I look really sad that I’ve lost my toy. This happens all the time and when she actually finds it, poor sucker is so happy... and then I lose it 5 mins later. Just think... This is what we have to look forward to for the next 18 or so years... Thanks for adopting me Mom!