Monday, January 17, 2005

Golden Advice


Marishka - I love you darling. I've seen all your re-runs and no doubt you deserve that statue, but for crying out loud... put on some pasties! Nobody heard a word of your acceptance speech because we were all too busy staring at your nipples, you should have thanked them too...

Annette Benning - I don't think I've heard a more boring acceptance speech. It was like you paused 5 seconds after every word, were you drunk? If you were showing some nipple, it would have been easier to sit through...

Lisa Marie Presley - Eee Gad! The part of Batman has already been cast, next time you can leave your cape at home. I promise really, leave it at home.

William Shatner - Either you were really high, or you had pink eye. How can you see out of those little slits you had?

Diane Keaton - Can't we buy you something that a woman would wear? Something... remotely bordering on feminine? Instead of these gender bending outfits you insist on wearing. And while we're at it, there really was no need to yell while presenting. Inside voices only please.

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