Thursday, January 06, 2005

Verizon Wireless' favorite person


T minus 4 days and counting til the F*cking Stu Debut Party! I am raring to go! Randomly saw him on the street the other day and walked an extra block out of my way to make sure it was really his pompous ass on his cell phone, then when he spotted me he started walking really slowly and must have ducked into a store. Oh Stu, you can't escape me that easy sugarpie, I'm having the whole city over to make fun of you Monday! How "classy" of me!

I just went to the bachelorlette page on abc.go.com to see if they'd posted his Bio yet, and got really excited because the pictures are up... but alas the bios are not yet. So instead, I did him the favor of writing one for him myself... hope he likes it.

F'ing Stu, from a town near Phili but I say I'm from Phili because that's cooler right? I went to Emory and Emory law. I'm a lawyer and that makes girls swoon, as do my really big muscles. I wear blue shorts to the gym. I pretend to like people, when really all I'm after is some really erotic text messaging... I love text messaging, yes, I'm a textomaniac. My name is Stu, and I'm a lying, scumbucket, sack of shit, textomaniac. Jen pick me, pick me!... but make sure you have the text plan on your phone first because I haven't learned how to communicate like a normal person yet!
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