The AARP hates me

In my continued effort to offend everyone and/or highlight the ridiculousness of the majority of people in our society, I’d like to focus today on the third tier of people who seem to think they can do whatever they want... Old people. Yesterday while I was waiting for the bus, I chose to sit in the last of three seats at the bus stop. Some of the newer bus stops have a bench that is designated, with partitions, into three separate seats. I was sitting near the edge of the bench with my purse next to me on the seat, when an older woman walked over, eyed my bag and said “is that your purse”? When I went to move it, she motioned like she was going to sit down. Let’s stop here and review a couple sentences back when I mentioned that the bench is partitioned into three seats. Was I supposed to let her sit basically on me, in what was designed to be ONE SEAT? Sorry Charlie. So of course, as these situations tend to go, the other person is the clear rude one, but somehow you end up being the bitch... I said to her “yes, but it’s one seat...” You can imagine to yourself what my face looked like.

Example 2. Today while in the Duane Reade downstairs with my co-worker Caryn, we were patiently waiting on line so that I could purchase my Goldfish crackers, because apparently as of recent I only eat snacks that are in the shape of fish. An older gentleman was milling around the checkout area and fully cut the entire line. He was lucky he had a cane... (not because I feel bad for him not being able to stand around and wait in line, but because I was scared he’d beat me with it if I said anything to him...)