Can someone please install a sunlamp above my desk?

What is up with this work thing? It only took me 2 measly weeks to completely forget how much it stinks to have responsibilities. I can’t lie, I don’t really feel like doing anything I used to do. Not getting up at 5:30am to go to the gym; not going to work; not doing work; not cooking dinner; and definitely not doing the same exact thing again tomorrow. Instead, I keep zoning out, pretending I’m still sitting on the beach and putting moisturizing lotion on my arms because it smells like Banana Boat...

Over the last couple of days, I have been in serious beach withdrawal. My Vitamin D levels have plummeted through the floor and I can feel my tan starting to quickly fade. I think I am going to wear every piece of white clothing that I own this week in a helpless attempt to prolong the illusion of my utter tan godliness.

When I got to work yesterday, my friend Lauren was like “I actually cannot believe you let yourself get that tan.” Let myself?? Shit, I worked really hard on this!! If I didn’t come back looking like mud, it wasn’t a successful vacay.

I have also been in serious Meredith and Jay withdrawal. I would almost volunteer to go back to Four Oaks, NC, just to hang with my road trip buds for a bit longer. Is it possible to be a professional vacationer? If so, I need to get myself that job...