From New Moon to Full Moon

I'm commuting home with one of my co-workers this evening on the M79 bus, when all of a sudden she is overcome with uncontrollable laughter. I have no idea what she's laughing at, but I'm laughing because she's laughing... and then I see it. This poor man has made his way in between us and half of his ass is fully hanging out of his pants. How unfortunate. What exactly is proper etiquette when faced with this situation? I'm almost positive it's not laughing like a 5 year old, but that seems to be my go-to solution to everything these days. He continues to back up into the spot between our seats and at this point we cannot even look at each other. Am I on "what would you do?" Doesn't he feel a breeze... downwind? Finally our stop appears and someone getting off drops her newspaper on the floor in front of him.... oh god... please no...

In other news, I was randomly telling some of my co-workers today about my upstairs neighbor who is old and bald, has 2 white fluffy dogs, and insists on having loud, shake the walls, make everyone in the building uncomfortable sex ALL THE TIME. I've seen this guy... ain't nobody THAT good. However these girls carry on and make noises that I didn't even realize could come out of a human being. I actually hadn't heard it in a while, until just now. I can hear it right now and it's making me so unhappy. I think I'll go shower in bleach now. See what I did, I cursed myself. I hate my life...