Top Ten

FDA takes issue with Cheerios health claims

Top ten reasons why this is a great headline:

10) General Mills got a warning letter from FDA. That makes me chuckle.

9) Does anyone eating Cheerios for breakfast really think it’s going to prevent heart disease? Big Mac for lunch, TGIFriday’s for dinner... But hey, at least I had my Cheerios this morning, so I’m protected.

8) Maybe they should hire the world-class researchers who conducted Phase III testing to support that Kix are “Kid tested, Mother approved.”

7) It’s not like they said they were the “Breakfast of Champions”... Because that seems to be a gross overpromise.

6) Pretty soon our food packaging will be carrying Fair Balance.

5) FDA don’t you have better things to do, like monitor the pharmaceut... Oh wait, please continue going to town on cereals.

4) I’m sorry, but I’m really going to need to see some hard data for some other cereal claims now.  “They’re grrrreat”...? Really Frosted Flakes? Prove it.

3) Wait, it doesn’t lower cholesterol? Hell, I’m getting me some Count Chocula, or at least something with marshmallows in it...

2) Maybe Cheerios just needs to run a straight up comparison study in order to prove their claim.  Something like “Cheerios lowered cholesterol 4-6% in a head-to-head study with Bacon”. Yup, that’ll work.

And the number 1 reason this is a great headline...

1) Who cares. Cheerios taste like shit.