The Unbitch Chronicles

My new leaf of not being bitchy doesn’t seem to be working out very well for me. Honestly, I think it’d be going quite swimmingly if everyone else in the world didn’t insist on constantly being monumentally stupid and/or annoying...

... Like the saleswoman in Banana Republic last night who came over to me while I was literally the only person in line and motioned like she was going to ring me up, then asked if I had a Banana Republic card. Is that now a requirement to make a purchase? When I responded that I did in fact have one, she proceeded to allow me to follow her to the register. Cardholders get VIP checkout now? I might have felt special if I wasn’t the only person on the line. I wasn’t planning on paying with my Banana card though, and that’s where the trouble started. I had a coupon that stated “Exclusively for card members... $30 off a purchase of $100 or more” and the saleslady tried telling me that meant I had to use my card. Well no, it doesn’t say that. Nowhere in the fine print does it say that either. She points to the exclusively line and states her bogus claim.

Unfortunately for her, I am a writer... And also apparently a (sometimes?) bitch. “Exclusively for card members” could easily mean that the coupon was sent to me because I am a card member. If it was intended to mean that I had to use my card, they should have tried one of their other staple and not to mention much more straightforward lines like “when you use your Banana card.” I find it infuriating to argue with stupid people though. You can never seem to win because you can’t make them smart and you can’t make yourself stupider. Bad situation. Eventually I just gave in and handed her my Gap card, which was apparently also not correct. The Banana card is yellow. Super. And at this point, is when I lost it. I looked right at her and said “I am not going to play this game with you anymore. It’s all the same. The cards are accepted in all of the stores.” (ie, Banana, Gap, Old Navy) Was she kidding? There were about, oh lets see, 4 people in the store... none of whom were purchasing anything, and this lady thinks a good use of her time is arguing with me over a severely overpriced sweater and badly worded coupon. Do you fools want to make a sale OR NOT?...