Posting from the RTW archives

In honor of my coffee cart man taking a couple weeks off, (I thought he said he was leaving forever, but I guess I heard wrong... or didn't listen) I am posting my ode to coffee cart guys everywhere.

Volume CCXXIV - Coffee Cake

One of my favorite commercials, besides the AARP one where the little Asian man clones himself and then comes to serve his wife breakfast in bed while he also happens to be lying next to her... is the AOL one in which a happy customer brings cake by the office to thank them for their good work. Nothing is nearly as funny as when said Asian man wakes his wife up by calling her "sleepy-do" and she freaks out upon seeing both of him and screams "PING? PING?". But anyway, the notable part of the cake commercial is when some random woman rolls out of her office cubicle on her desk chair and says "I smell cake." Yes I'd probably scream too if I saw two of any of my friends, but that cake chick... that is so me. I can sniff out cake a mile away. I love cake. Who doesn't love cake? At my old job I used to look forward to people's last days/birthdays because that was when we had cake. It's really difficult to care about any of your troubles when there's a wad of sweet frosting in your mouth. That sounded a litle gross, I know this. But cake is what it's all about. Cake rocks! Why else would we have it at every celebratory event? Ahh bet you never thought about that before! Cake brings people together. It's a universal unifier. And just in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't... Some girls like jewelry, I like cake. Cake is the way to my heart and apparently it's no longer a secret...

I've become a nicer and calmer person since I don't have to commute to New Jersey for work anymore. Notice I didn't say "much" nicer and calmer. This has mainly translated into me not screaming obscenities at "street standers" who see fit to call me "mommie" at 6AM while I'm wearing a sweatband in my hair, and my budding relationship with the coffee cart man. Let it be known that I have turned over a new leaf. No longer do I see fit to go through life filled with unnecessary anger or rage. Why be rude and standoffish when you can instead be friendly and smiley? That is my newly adopted morning philosophy... pertaining to mostly everyone. Except anyone who calls me "mommie"... all deals are off on that. But why not be friendly to the coffee cart man? Every day I get my coffee, cream and two equals and a raisin bagel with butter. Same guy, same time. Then one day I noticed that he had memorized my order, not that it's a difficult thing to do. Along with this, also came him calling me sweetie, and occasionally having my stuff ready and waiting for me. Clearly I have acquired a coffee cart boyfriend. I really was touched, really I was. Coffee cart love is hard to come by. We have a very special coffee cart relationship. A few weeks into our coffee cart courting he slipped free cake into my bag, that sneaky devil! Which I hate to tell you, but according to a friend of mine, free cake means things in other cultures that I'm not comfortable describing to you. How did he know I liked cake!? Am I his only coffee cart girlfriend? I don't know how I feel about this. Then the other day it was a free cruller, a LOVE cruller, a cruller of LOVE, the ultimate sign of affection... and he asked me what I was doing this weekend. Whoa back it right up cruller boy! Did I just get asked out by the coffee cart man? I think I did. Yes, I definitely did. He is wooing me with his confectionary delights. I wonder... if we got married, would I own half of the coffee cart business? That's a lot of cake you know...

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