Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Top Ten

Top ten reasons why this is a great headline:

Woman smuggles monkey to U.S. under blouse

10) Who the hell wants a monkey that badly?

9) 10 hours in a tiny plane seat with a sedated monkey up your shirt, I mean isn’t that funny enough?

8) Smuggling... K lemme guess. I’ll go with the usual... Drugs. Liquor. Diamonds. Prescription meds. Illegal aliens...? Nope... A monkey. I suppose that’s creative.

7) Couldn’t she just get a dog? A fish??

6) Was this animal tested for diseases before she shoved it up her shirt?

5) She definitely watches too much Friends.

4) We should be thankful she didn’t want to have a tiger.

3) Don’t we have f’ing monkeys here? I really don’t understand...

2) I guess it could have been worse, she could have smuggled it in by hiding it... Elsewhere.

And the number one reason why this is a great headline...

1) Did she go there planning to steal a monkey? Was there a monkey stealing scheme that involved pre-planning of bringing a maternity shirt to hide said monkey under for the big getaway? Or was this like completely spontaneous? Ohh what a cute monkey, I think I’ll stick it under my shirt and take it home with me... I kinda really have to know.

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