Wednesday, April 29, 2009

If you can't freak yourself out, who can you freak out?


This little piggy went to market flu is starting to really freak me out. My inner hypochondriac, which I can usually keep in check, has begun to surface in full form. This weekend alone, I decided that not only did I have pork flu, but I also had skin cancer... when in fact the only thing wrong with me was that I was severely hungover from my insane birthday celebration. But seriously, in the past 3 days, I have used more hand sanitizer than should legally be allowed for one person. This pig flu ain't kosher. The one thing I will not do however, is wear a mask. That happens to be where I draw the line.

I read this article about masks on MSNBC just now, and I have some comments...

"One problem with the N-95 masks is that although they filter microscopic particles, they also impede breathing, making them uncomfortable to wear for extended periods of time, Schaffner said"

...Hmm... sure suffocation or possible infection with pig flu. Pondering... wow that's a toss up.

“Those of us who are a little claustrophobic don’t like to wear them for very long,” he said.

...Those of us who enjoy breathing or occasionally attempt to not look like a freak probably don't either.

“If you are in an epidemic center like New York, it probably wouldn’t hurt to have some around,” Russell said. “As far as wearing it to work or wearing it on the street, we’re not there yet.”

...Epidemic center? Since when?! Way to scare the bejezus out of us. Meanwhile, if I'm not supposed to wear it on the street or to work, am I supposed to sport it in my apartment? A lot of good that will do... to protect me against dust mites and hair balls...

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Just wait until New Jersey begins catapulting its dead into Manhattan.