Top Ten

Man convicted of groping Minnie Mouse

Top ten reasons why this is a great headline:

10) Do I really even need to come up with a reason? That is just sick.

9) I truly don’t understand the attraction. She wears the same outfit everyday.

8) I think we can be a bit more descriptive. I’d like to suggest an alternate. How about... Creepy old dirty man ruins Disney World for everyone.

7) How can you possibly even cop a quality feel of someone wearing a large costume? Congratulations, you’re being sentenced and all you got was a handful of fake fur.

6) This guy’s grandkids are now severely traumatized for life.

5) Do you know what they do to mouse molesters in prison?

4) I had a hot dream about Goofy last night... But I guess I have a bit more self control than some people.

3) New song idea... “I saw Grandpa inappropriately touching Minnie Mouse...”

2) Who even knew Minnie Mouse had breasts?

And the number 1 reason this is a great headline...

1) And WTF did Mickey do? Just stand there and let it happen?