I’ve been thinking about pursuing a second job as a feline male model. Obviously I wouldn’t let it interfere with my first job of being the lazy, pampered, and awesome king of my castle, but maybe if I had an actual revenue stream, I could finally escape this place and become an emancipated minor. I had a list of other possible careers in my head, but decided since SHE keeps saying that the camera phone loves me, this might be my destiny. Instead of being a zoo animal, I will be the feline Zoolander. Now how do I land my first gig?...
How tough can this be? I’m way cuter than the animals on the Whiskas and litter commercials. Some of those cats are like furry butter faced beasts. I definitely have the X factor. I can look cute, playful, mysterious, scared, surprised, distinguished, tired, hungry. I do a really great hungry. And my spotted grey nose could be as famous as Cindy Crawford’s mole. Look, I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ve lived the rough life. I’ve done my share of catnip. If I have to sleep with people, then so be it. I already sleep with HER, so I’m willing to sleep with whomever to get what I want. What? That doesn’t mean what I think it means? A different kind of sleep with? Oh, ew... What about make love to the camera?
