The Daily Bailey

They say the early bird gets the worm and even though I don’t think I like worms, although I never tried one, I’d still like to see if I could get one. So today I woke up at 3am. And alas, I didn’t find any worms, instead I found an extremely angry Mommy. She’s apparently been formulating plans in her head ever since the whole Frankenstein incident about what her next course of action would be if I continued to rise before the sun. It seemed this morning’s genius plan was to put me in the LIVE ANIMAL carrier that I’ve been using as a step stool to get to my window perch. I haven't been in there since the day I was brought to this dump, so when she finally figured out how to open it, after 10 minutes of unsuccessfully trying in the dark and eventually turning the light on, my curiosity got the best of me and I stuck my head in only to be shoved and locked in. Damn you. I really should have seen that coming.

Once inside, I promptly decided I wanted out. It was in no way as fun or interesting as I imagined it would have been. But my constant thrashing and scratching only served to get me airlifted to the bathroom and the door shut. 2 hours later, after I’d shredded every last piece of newspaper that was in the carrier, I was finally set free. SHE barely looked at me, then left in her gym clothes. Upon her return, she greeted me “Hello Bailey” the way that Jerry guy talks to Newman on that show I once watched at the resort. Sooo, I suppose this means she’s angry with me? How could anyone be angry at this face?...