Not only am I intensely good looking and debonair, as evidenced by my new headshot above... the camera phone loves me..., I also happen to be a genius. Seriously, I am not full of myself. It just happens to be a fact. Everyone knows cats are smarter than dogs. Dogs have owners, cats have staff. And my maid has been doing a ton of work catering to my particular needs over the last couple of weeks. Starting with cleaning up all of my shedded hair. I don’t mind the special cat brush once a day, however, my extra shiny and baby soft coat happens to shed a lot and unfortunately this is not the wild wild west. Clean up the tumbleweeds of my hair that I see floating by, even if this becomes a once a day task. If I don’t have a Swiffer to chase often, we have a problem. Also while you’re at it, can you remove all of the excess fur that has been accumulating on my bed. And by my bed, I mean your bed. Oh and thanks for your timely removal of my vomit at 2:00 AM the other night. The service here is quite good, but there’s always room for improvements...While I’m home all day making a giant mess, I spend most of my day strategizing and problem solving. How do I get out of this apartment? Where the hell did all of my toys go? How can I kill that dog I hear barking downstairs? And most importantly, how can I break into this feeder that SHE has left out for me? Good news friends. I have solved that last one. However, I also got caught red pawed, twice. How was I supposed to know she was going to come home at 1pm from work due to snow and see that I’d already eaten what was supposed to be my dinner? To tell you the absolute truth, I haven’t really thought much of it. In fact I think it’s pretty funny as I sit back and watch her try to break in to the same feeder, mumbling “WTF Bailey. How the hell did you get in here? I can’t even get in here...” Who’s the master now biatch...
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