The Daily Bailey

I have to tell you, I’ve been left home alone a lot lately. What is that about?! Have I done something wrong? I may be starting to get a complex. I mean LOOK at this face. I am adorable. And furry. Who wouldn’t want to be around me? I believe the story was something about “working late,” “watching the game,” “a wedding,” or some other bullshit in which SHE clearly forgot that I OWN her. I don’t really listen anymore. It’s only when I see my feeder come out that I know I’ll be flying solo. Usually she seems really sad to leave me, closing the door in slow motion while staring at me and telling me in a squeaky baby voice how much she loves me. This time however, she couldn’t wait to get away from me. I’m guessing because I made her have a nervous breakdown (and possibly cry) when I kept her up the whole night before. Maybe she won’t come back...

But she did. And when she does, she likes to overcompensate for completely ditching me, by picking me up and trying to assert 2 days of missed care into 2 minutes. Maybe I am a bit persnickety, but I do not want to go “uppy”. I do not like to be handled. You can pet me and scratch my head (until I try to claw you), sometimes I even allow a bit of brushing with that special cat brush, but all of this must occur while I have all 4 paws firmly planted on the floor or bed. SHE thinks I like to be picked up because one time I didn’t squirm while she was in front of the mirror and I was mesmerized by my handsome reflection. However usually I am just uncomfortable. Aren’t there lessons she can take? What do you think you’re carrying a grocery sack or a watermelon? How difficult can it be to correctly pick up a cat? Until you learn, put me the hell down. Oh and stop incessantly trying to stick that miniature Yankee hat on me. I do not wear accessories and I do not want hat head. Besides, haven’t you ever considered that maybe I’m a Mets fan?? I don’t have to like everything you like, I’m my own person you know... and oh so lonely...