The Daily Bailey

Happy 2011 internet blogosphere friends. 2011 is the year I will finally make my great escape. The Meowshank Redemption. I’ve been planning it for almost 2 years now. I don’t really need to get into my many motivations for this prison break, I believe that you know the injustices that are put upon me day in and day out. The treats that are withheld and replaced with faux love and gay ass nicknames. SHE finally managed to find me a suitable male role model, but then I overheard him talking about having me de-clawed and my little kitten heart broke into a million pieces. F this, I will not be conspired against... In my own house no less. I have rights too... Just ask PETA. The mean streets of NYC aren't as mean as my captors... I am outta here...

I needed a good plan though, especially since I planned to make a break for it while I was staying at The Resort, which may seem free and expansive, but is really more like a kitty prison since I am watched constantly. I decided that I would pull my caper when she least expected it... While she was deep in slumber. I would use a classic move that would be completely undetectable to her. When I arrived at The Resort, I hired a lookalike to pretend he was me. She would look down and think that I was cozy in my cat bed, as I tried to pry the door open and escape. I really thought this could not fail, but alas... while executing my genius plan, she saw the imposter in my bed and started to laugh uncontrollably. Seriously, I get zero respect... that cat looks just like me...