Martha Stewart I am Not

The thought crossed my mind today to bake something for Meredith's 30th birthday celebration tomorrow evening. A person only turns 30 once and I know when I turn 30, I will probably want to die... so anything I can do, like bring my cooking to help the process along, being that I'm such a good friend and all. I looked at a bunch of recipes and immediately realized (to my horror, yet not surprise), that I have just about nothing on the list of required ingredients in my apartment, besides salt.

Ingredients:

• 48 HERSHEY'S KISSES Brand Milk Chocolates I will have no problem buying this
  
• 1/2 cup shortening Whatening?
  
• 3/4 cup REESE'S Creamy Peanut Butter My PB is like months old, scary
  
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar Nope
  
• 1/3 cup packed light brown sugar Def, nope
  
• 1 egg Again, no
  
• 2 tablespoons milk Still no
  
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Nada
  
• 1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour Not a chance
  
• 1 teaspoon baking soda Can't use the odor absorber kind?
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt YESSSSSSSS!! I have this!!
  

Holy crap I am a frat boy. A frat boy with diet orange soda and diet nestea instead of beer. Is it still thoughtful to make the cookies that came in a tube? Please say yes...