Top Ten

School orders boy, 4, to braid long locks

Top Ten reasons why this is a great headline:

10) I’ve sat here for an hour trying to figure out a reason for this. Safety? How long is the hair? Is he at risk for tripping over it? Are small animals living in it?

9) Braid? Really? Is this an Amish school? Polygamist?

8) Seriously, this is a headline? And I spent an hour thinking about it?

7) Are the girls not allowed to have long hair either? I used to eat my hair and I never got suspended.

6) Another thing to add to the list of ways to get suspended from preschool: Eat paste. Disrupt naptime. Knock over the block tower. Pull Suzie’s hair... or not cut your own.

5) Oh now we can order people to look a certain way? Can I order the freelance guy in my office to wash his hair?

4) The obvious thing here would be to order him to cut it off. Apparently they’d rather humiliate him instead.

3) I believe it could be interpreted that they’ve just ordered a 4 year old to get corn rows.

2) His long hair violates the “Dress code.” There are probably 4 year old girls wearing boustiers and fishnets, let’s get our priorities straight.

And the number 1 reason why this is a great headline...

1) I wish my elementary school could have ordered people to cut off their rat tails.