Top Ten

Tiger to be cited for reckless driving

Top Ten reasons why this is a great headline:

10) Like the poor guy doesn’t have enough shit to deal with at the moment.

9) There’s a lesson here for all of us. In the future when attempting to elude your crazy wife chasing your car with a golf club, please obey the speed limit and don’t piss off the fire department or Al Gore.

8) He’s getting charged by the police and this is one of the least damning headlines to come out about him all week.

7) This misdemeanor charge probably carries a fine that will clearly be less than his impending alimony

6) Poor Buick. After 9 years at 7 mil a year, they cut him loose and he goes and crashes up a Cadillac. Can’t even get any free publicity.

5) I suppose I could make a golf joke right now... Like, you think he’s a reckless driver?? He’s even worse with a 3 wood...

4) 4 points against his license is a cake walk compared to the countless fame whoring sluts about to crawl out and claim they boned him.

3) Lemme guess who’s pressing charges. It was the tree wasn’t it. F’ing tree. The hydrant went off quietly into the night with a couple grand for its silence.

2) Christmas came early for Phil Mickelson this year.

And the number 1 reason this is a great headline...

1) I bet his wife wants him cited for reckless use of his "golf club" shaft and balls