Top Ten

Police: Woman bit off a third of sister’s nose

Top Ten reasons why this is a great headline:

10) My brother and I used to fight, but wow.

9) Crazy nose biter was charged with “mayhem,” which is actually defined in part under a 1931 Michigan law as mutilating another person's nose. Apparently this happens a lot in Michigan. If you value your nose, don’t go there.

8) Did they call animal control? Sounds like someone has a case of the rabies.

7) Whatever happened to good old scratching and hair pulling?

6) And I thought I was having a hard time breathing today. NyQuil certainly is not fixin that puppy.

5) Damn vampire craze.

4) Something tells me it’s going to be a very awkward family Thanksgiving this year.

3) In the realm of potential acceptable reasons for rhinoplasty, my sister bit off my nose comes in way above deviated septum.

2) I don’t know about you, but I never thought about splitting my nose up into thirds. And in the context of any part of it potentially being bitten off... I’d venture that the percentage is pretty unimportant.

And the number 1 reason why this is a great headline...

1) Mike Tyson got hungry at the very thought of this.