Quickies

I hate people who notice about a quarter of an inch of free space on the subway and decide that somehow because they are completely delusional (and obnoxious) they can squeeze their fat ass onto the seat. Are you people for real? I’d like to offer you some polite advice, just freaking stand. We’ve all had to do it one time or another. It’s seriously SO not the end of the world. Because I have to tell you, there is absolutely no reason that I can think of in which you need to sit on top of me. None whatsoever. I should have just ended the first sentence at I hate people.

I was at my friend Mara’s last night watching DJ, the second cutest grey cat, play with a toy on a string. What would it be like to be simple minded enough to find something so inane like that endlessly amusing? Oh right, the other day I was in Duane Reade and came across greeting cards that play music when you open them, so I proceeded to stand there for 10 minutes and open every one of them. I was mesmerized... Yet the other customers were clearly not as amused.