The Daily Bailey

I am quite advanced for my feline age. Don’t I look dignified and stately!? I may only be a year and a half old, but think about it, I’ve been through a lot in my short life. I’ve lived on the streets, struggled to eat, been captured, then captured again... Oops I meant adopted. Due to my rough upbringing I've got highly advanced street smarts and I definitely know when I’m being played. Last night something was up. I could smell something fishy in the air, which unfortunately was not my treats, and I sensed that revenge was going to be a dish best served cold... And hopefully alongside my food. And as I suspected, I was right... About everything but the food. Just as I was falling into blissful sleep on that beautiful comforter that I am slowly shredding, SHE started petting me and shaking my paw and carrying on “Bailey... Oh were you sleeping? I guess it sucks to be annoyed while you’re sleeping... Doesn’t this suck? I want to play. You should wake up and play. Isn’t this annoying? What are you tired?...” AH go away!! Are you kidding me wench? I really hate her sometimes...

If we’re being honest, I suppose I may have been slightly more annoying than usual lately and may have actually been somewhat asking for this retribution based on the fact that I jumped on her face while she was sleeping the other morning. Ok fine, in the interest of full disclosure, I jumped on her face AFTER I pestered her so much that she got up to feed me at 5:30am so that I’d leave her alone. Listen, I know I am making myself sound very unsympathetic here, but I like to come up on the bed every morning and climb onto the desk where I can proceed to knock things over and swat at everything. This is just what I do, it’s a fact of life. I do this every morning... Because I can. This particular morning she had decided to try to block my access to the bed by positioning herself by the edge. She thinks she’s crafty like that... So what was I to do? Let her win? In war sometimes there is collateral damage, and if that happens to be your face, then so be it. If you don’t want me to jump on your face... Then move your face. That’s not street smarts, that’s just simple logic...