The Daily Bailey

So I just joined this Catbook thing on Facebook. If you’d like to request me as a friend, ask my assistant (HER) how. I don’t really understand how it works or why there had to be a distinction and I couldn’t just be on Facebook. I mean, I have a face too. If it was called Humanbook, then fine. But clearly I am just too smart and too up on my internet technologies (hence this awesome blog I commandeer). I am like the Al Gore of cats. I also happen to be an avid user of iTunes. My iTunes library consists of really exactly what you'd expect. The original Broadway cast recording of “Cats” (best musical EVER, I’m talking EPIC. When it comes back to Broadway, oh and it will mark my meows, I am SO auditioning for the part of Mr. Mistoffelees), some sweet jams from that cat who plays piano on YouTube, Paula Abdul (mainly due to her affiliation with MC Skat Kat, otherwise that bitch is crazy), and a little Cat Stevens. Not many surprises there. However, I also dig a little of that cool kat Michael Jackson (even though I’m not really sure he ever liked pussies). Specifically that tune that goes “I always feel like, somebody’s watching meee...” I hear ya Mikey, I feel the exact same way.

I am watched all of the time. What does SHE think I’m going to do? Create mischief? I do nothing of the sort. Can’t a brotha try to break into the garbage in peace? Why you gotta know where I am at every minute? Gosh you are SO needy. “Bailey, what are you doing? where are you..?” Doesn’t she think that I ever just want to be afforded a couple minutes alone to lick myself, eat bugs, or read a cat-alogue in the litter box? Just because I run to the door every time you come home, does not mean I am stoked to see you. Maybe I am trying to escape and continue my precious alone time. I’m kind of a loner, ya know a nomad, they call me the wanderer. I’m a little mysterious, don’t really like to be tied down... I’m starting to think we might need a little space. I think maybe you should consider moving out... Just be sure to leave the food...