Top Ten

Wal-Mart now selling caskets, urns online

Top Ten reasons why this is a great headline:

10) Really? Really. When will the madness end?

9) I almost want to put it in a shopping cart just so I can see if there is a “gift” option. I’ve got a couple people I’d like to purchase this for... (kidding. No, seriously, I am)

8) Costco apparently sells them as well. I assume though not in bulk.

7) They allow layaway. So if you can’t afford to die just quite yet, this is a win-win.

6) Does this get shipped to your house? I wonder if my old doorman would have signed for this...

5) Once you’ve lived your life to the fullest, there’s nothing like spending eternity in a discount casket.

4) If you’re going to buy a casket from Wal-Mart, you should be shot. Oh, right... That makes sense now.

3) They’re gonna start selling those puppies on Canal Street next week.

2) $999.90. Or 10 small payments of $99.90. If you order within the next 20 minutes we’ll throw in a year’s worth of formaldehyde absolutely free! No returns or exchanges. Do not use with dirt or dead people.

And the number 1 reason this is a great headline:

1) There’s a link that says, “be the first to review this product.” Uhh, good luck with that since your end users are DEAD. It’s very comfortable! Fits perfectly! Wears well! I got tons of compliments! My mom loved it!