Thursday, January 27, 2005

Snoring at the Sleezeside Surf n Turf Sewer

OMG! So Apprentice... they had to renovate motels in Seaside Heights, NJ. Well one team got the Surfside Motel, which looked suspiciously like the motel we stayed in after senior prom... and, upon closer consideration... it was. GOOD LUCK TO THEM, they've got their work cut out for them... here's an excerpt from the RTW I wrote about it 7 years ago...

May 25, 1998

I think I would welcome the idea of spending the night in a damp and rat infested gutter before I would EVER go back to The Surf n Turf Sewer. The stairs were barely cemented in, and as we sighed in relief of them not falling as we walked up, we noticed ourselves to be slightly lopsided… the second floor which was sticky from dried up beer and what have you, was also at a 15 degree angle, sideways and downwards leaning toward the pool.

Room 312… Let there be light? Nope, no bulb. Pillows? Oh yeah, we’ve got those… one for four people. There’s a refrigerator which upon opening leaked it’s rank odor of what smelled like 5 year old rotting dead people into the room, a television you have to pay to watch, an air conditioner with no knobs and the chain lock on the door is missing. Just as I was about to check the bed I would be forced to sleep on, Jaime comes running in claiming that there is gis in her bed in room 305… and it’s wet.

Room _ _ _, the 3, 0, and 5 were missing… It’s been confirmed. There is definitely something wet in her bed. They have a light though, and some really neat furniture. It looked like some wild animal came in and ate a big chunk out of the bottom of the nightstand, and the bathroom door had wooden planks covering up the bullet holes. When you closed the door, it almost went all the way through. Leah went in and began to wave at me through the big gap of space between the door and the molding. The ceiling was missing, revealing pipes and other assorted goodies, and the sink was growing green gunk and wasn’t even in the bathroom.

Sounds like a beach haven doesn't it???

1 comment:

qbrad said...

C'mon guys.... What do you expect from a five star hotel in Jersey?